Ratatouille

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Know anyone in Austin? I'm gonna be there! Wednesday night! I'm doing two short sets for all the kids at Oil Can Harry's!

Click on it for details! What a bargain price! I'm cheap!

I have been so busy filming with THE MUSHROOM HEADS for the new show! I am so excited for y'all to see it!

But, on Saturday, I took time out of my busy schedule to go out to eat with my "friend" Bubba (short for Bubalah.) We ate at a very nice restaurant here in New Orleans. The ambiance was incredible, with a sky of blooming wisteria above us.

However, I kept noticing two women looking down at my feet in horror. I thought I must have poked a hole in my panty hose with my big toe again. Happens all the time because my toe nails are like razor blades. Kind of like Lotte Lenya in the James Bond film "From Russia With Love." Remember, when she tries to kick him with her poison tipped shoe? An old lady trying to kick you isn't very threatening, even if her shoes are equipped with a weapon.

Lotte Lenya. From Kurt Weill to vile villain.

I digress. They weren't looking at my poison-tipped hoof. No, it was worse. There was a very large "mouse" at my feet acting drunk. I thought he had been hitting the sauce, but Bubba said he obviously was dying from rat poison and was taking his last crawl, daring as it may be, into the dining area for his final scene. (Jewish people are more dramatic than actors, I swear!)

Anyhoo, so as the "mouse" delivered a performance worthy of Maria Callas as Violetta in La Traviata, the waiter noticed the death scene as well, and without missing a beat, put a napkin over it and picked it up, pulling the curtain before its final bow, and whisked it out of the dining area...passing by table after table with one knowing what was in the napkin. I asked the waiter when he returned to take our order how he "disposed" of the "mouse," and he looked me right in the eyes and said "Shhhhh!"

She was allowed to finish her scene.

Then he informed me that when he bent down to give the "mouse" a ride to "heaven" that my big toe was, in fact, sticking out of my panty hose. Vile.

Don't worry about me,
VJ