Monday, May 25, 2009

Free bacon?

Ladies and Gentlemen!

It's my birthday week, so I decided to go out every single night and get as many free cocktails as I could. I didn't want this week to be any different from any other week. Why? Because I really don't want anyone to make any fuss and celebrate this BIG birthday of mine. That's why I'm writing about it, because I don't want any flowers (like colorful spring mixes of gerber daisies and lillies from Dunn and Sonnier) or male strippers ( or any gorgeous jewelry from local artisan Mignon Faget (

Please. Don't feel like you have to make me feel good now that I have left my dewy youth behind. I'm fine. Really. Look out cougars! There's a new cat in town and she's feeling good! But she's a touch bi-polar and the pendulum is bound to swing at any moment... So, hide anything with hair on it.

On Friday, LaSwan (Lady Across the Street Without A Name) and I went uptown with two of my dear lesbian lady friends to a bar called "Phillip's." It's a college bar near Tulane's campus. I decided this cougar would grab the bull by the horns, or anything else I could get my liver spotted hands on. I thought I would feel a little out of place, but boy did I feel better when the waitress (in a skirt so short I could see her navel) put this in front of me.

Verre de bacon.

I thought someone had told them it was my birthday week. Why else would someone hand you a free glass of bacon. Turns out, they give EVERYONE who orders a drink a glass full of fried and sugar coated pork belly. Now, that's New Orleans! Where else? Believe me! Can you imagine the looks on the queens' faces in San Francisco or Boston if a you plopped a glass of bacon in front of them? They'd probably run screaming out the door and onto a stair master just for looking at it.

Anyhoo, I don't know what happened after the glass was empty. Well, my glass never is...


On a sad note, Ms. Clara wasn't in her chair this morning. I hope everything is okay.

Don't worry about me,
Dunn and Sonnier


Blogger Tori said...

Bacon is meat candy, and a lovely substitute for birthday cake!

Happy birthday! As us real redheads know, you never get older, just sexier. That's why God invented Nice N Easy's Bright Auburn. Which reminds me.....

Enjoy your birthday week! Yea!

May 25, 2009 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Angelina said...

Happy Birthday Miss VJM! We have a place here in Madison, WI called "Wando's". Every Tuesday is Bacon Night, all of the free bacon you can eat as well as $1 beers. Wando's is also well known for their fruity alcohol filled glass Fish Bowls. Not that we could ever keep up with New Orleans, but we do dish out our fair share of deep fried goodness and ever flowing alcohol! You'd probably avoid that home sick feeling if you came to visit. (Just don't come in the winter! Poor Mrs.Danvers would freeze her little paws off! Brrrr..) Now, if Madison could get it's hands on a drive through daiquiri place, we'd be all set! :o)

May 25, 2009 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger Sarai said...

Happy Birthday Varla... getting sexier by the year... lol... hvae as much fun as you can (but dont get so drunk that you end up face down on the floor of a mall with your pants around your ankles asking "how did i get here and why do i smell like hot dogs?"...) lol... i just wish i were there to give you some birthday punches.. lolz have fun! Luv Yahh!

May 26, 2009 at 7:10 AM  
Blogger Sarai said...

oh by the way Varla, I dedicate this song to you... its called Malchik Gay... i dont know if you ever heard of it before or know what Malchik means so... Malchik means Boy or Male... and Gay means Gay.. its Russian for Gay Boy... so when you have the time listen to it.... Luvyahh!

May 26, 2009 at 8:04 AM  

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