Ladies and Gentlemen!
Mrs. Danvers and I took a our usual morning walk today, but I decided to go down an alley way to cut back to the house because I woke up a little "tired" and because I saw a discarded pizza box. I didn't find anything except crusts in the pizza box. But, look what I did find!
Yes, that is Mrs. Danvers. And yes, that is a telephone pole. And yes, that is a pair of handcuffs bolted to it. At first I thought maybe it was some sort of "tool" left behind by the Verizon man.
But, then I remembered that I was in West Hollywood. I was very tempted to try on the opened cuff, but thought it might be a trap! What if I would put it on and someone would come take advantage of me?
Well, it didn't work. No one ever came by with a key, and Mrs. Danvers had to finally dial 9-1-1. Thank God she has one opposable thumb.
So after this horrific "accident" I have decided to create my own safety campaign, similar to the "If you throw away a refrigerator out onto the street, make sure you take the door off!"
My campaign will be more like "If you handcuff a friend to a telephone pole, make sure you close both cuffs before disposing of the body."
Don't worry about me,