Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Cat House Blues

Ladies and Gentlemen!

There are two things I get really upset about when I see them cast aside onto the curb of the street.

#1: Mattresses that you don't realize are covered in stains until AFTER you get them into your bedroom. And,

#2: This!

Kitty doesn't live here anymore.

Seeing this just makes me think. And I hate that feeling.

Did kitty pass away? Or did she just lose the will to play? Why? What happened? Is she okay? Why didn't someone put a note on it saying, "Don't worry! Everything is okay!" You know why? Because everything is not okay! KITTY IS NOT OKAY!!!! This is why I need Ambien at night.

Well, I am choosing to take the sunny road and be an optometrist. I have always been a "my glass is half not drunk" kind of person.

I am going to believe that kitty's owner felt that the above cat condo was a bit out-of-style and because he loved kitty so much, he bought a new one! An "upgrade," as we celebrities say when we're "accidentally" in coach with the civilians. Maybe kitty is relaxing on this!

Or perhaps kitty's owner was on THE PRICE IS RIGHT and came home with this one! Get a load of this thing!

Maybe this deluxe top of-the-line cat scratch structure was delivered that very morning and now kitty is so happy she's dancing around on her tippy-toes, purring like Eartha Kitt.

Oh, why did I have to bring her up? Kitty's dead. I know it. Everybody's dead.

Anyhoo, my friend Miss Coco told me last week that some cats can smell cancer. I have no idea what cancer smells like, so I find that hard to believe, but Coco knows all kinds of stuff that no one else has time to know! However, I did have an airport custom's dog attack me one time in the passport line in Sydney because I had an apple in my handbag. They don't allow fruit in Austria. Well, not imported fruit. Wait a minute. I hope that dog was smelling the apple and not cancer.


My friend and colleague, Miss Coco Peru.

Speaking of Coco, we're having a GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS reunion dinner tonight! Will tell y'all all about it on Saturday!

Don't worry about me,
VJ



2 Comments:

Blogger Tori said...

That discarded cat thing is not cheap either! It really does make me so sad.

Yea Girls Will Be Girls! Yea Varla! Yea overpriced cat condos!

February 11, 2009 at 11:44 AM  
Blogger Geoff said...

"WE LOVE YOU MISS COCO PERU!"

--the short GWBG vids on youtube are hilarious! Especially your musical number! I actually CHOSE "Girls Will Be Girls" for movie day when our glbt community center was just starting several years ago. It was so much fun!

February 11, 2009 at 11:53 AM  

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