Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Voting Republican

Ladies and Gentlemen!

I had to vote for a Republican this past weekend! I know! "In what election?" many of you are probably asking. Well, in New Orleans, we do everything a little after everyone else. Everything.

So, we just had our 2nd District Congressional Representative election. And, the incumbent, (that word always makes me think of cucumbers!), Mr. William Jefferson, a democrat, was indicted recently for bribery and stuff, which is apparently now against the law. People have been taking bribes forever here in Louisiana, so I just assumed they weren't punishing people for it anymore, kind of like jay-walking or not cleaning up after your dog. (I always pick up Mrs. Danvers' little piles, well, at least I "act" like I am. Well, I am an actress!)

Mrs. Danvers weathers the political storm.


Anyhoo, the FBI found $90,000 worth of alleged bribe money in Rep. William Jefferson's freezer.


So, as you see, I couldn't vote for anyone who would keep money in the freezer, because I believe that is poor judgement. The freezer should only be used for ice cream and poppers. Jalapeno poppers.

Holy Cao!


Anyhoo, the only other person to vote for that didn't seem like a crazy person was a Republican, named Ahn "Joseph" Cao! (Rhymes with "wow.") I've never voted Republican. Or Vietnamese, for that matter. But, this time I killed two birds with one stone. (Ooh. I hate that phrase. I love birds. Though I do wear feathers all the time. Oh God? Do you think they kill the birds for the feathers like fur? I've never thought about that! I'm not wearing them anymore. After next week.)

Anyhoo, now New Orleans, an extremely democratic city, actually elected the Republican. And, he is the very first Vietnamese Congressman! In the United States, y'all! From Louisiana? I thought "we" (meaning my neighbors) were racist!

Our Governor, Bobby Jindal

And not only that, Louisiana has the first Indian Governor! Not American-Indian, but the other kind! (What do you call them? Just Indian? Jeez Marie! I'm getting a headache. And my neighbors, you know, the racists, have formed a band and they are practicing now. I want to complain, but I'm not going to because I think they really need the practice. Bad.) What was I saying?

Ugh! I hate writing about politics! I can't focus on that stuff. And now for some reason, I'm craving cucumbers, spring rolls, and chicken tikka marsala.

Don't worry about me,
VJ



2 Comments:

Blogger Gaygay said...

I voted for Cao as well darling. You are not alone!

December 9, 2008 at 7:31 PM  
Blogger Varla Jean Merman said...

Hooray! Although it is a little sad...

December 9, 2008 at 8:27 PM  

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